Hey, I'm Jordan Cooper.
Stand-up comic. Web marketer. Tech douchebag.

edgerank

They’re Not Talking About You

Posted on March 8, 2013

Doling out the brutal truth that the real reason you’re not on Facebook anymore has nothing to do with privacy or data, it’s because you don’t have any friends.

Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes if you give a damn!

I rant about Facebook’s newly revamped design, why detractors of their news feed algorithm are missing the plot, how Google’s search results are judged by a double-standard, and why there are so many Facebook ads that contain cleavage shots.

In addition, I get livid over journalists who ignore the economic realities when whining about pay, how we take for granted tools that allow talented luddites to overcome technical hurdles, and why Marissa Mayer’s decision to end telecommuting at Yahoo has nothing to do with you.

play audio Theyre Not Talking About You

Links from this episode:

Separating truth from fiction about Facebook
We do not own our audience’s attention
Seriously, Facebook, What Is Up With These Obnoxious, Sexist Ads?
Twitter Reaction to Events Often at Odds with Overall Public Opinion
A Day in the Life of a Freelance Journalist
A Day in the Life of a Digital Editor
Micropublishing is about more than just The Magazine
Why Banning Telecommuters Is A Sign Your Company Is Screwed
The Yahoo Kerfuffle

Nick Bilton Can Suck My Dick

Posted on March 3, 2013

In the same fashion that George Takei and Mark Cuban went on incessant ego-fueled whining sprees about Facebook post visibility, the most recent spat of this ignorance-laden sense of entitlement comes by way of New York Times technology blogger Nick Bilton in his piece titled ‘When Sharing on Facebook Comes at a Cost‘:

I’ve stayed on Facebook after its repeated privacy violations partly because I foolishly believed there was some sort of democratic approach to sharing freely with others. I feel as if the company persuaded us to share under that premise and is now turning it inside out by requiring us to pay for people to see what we post.

Facebook takes a different view, saying that it is still finding the right balance for the algorithm that decides what people see in their news feeds.

As I’ve taken social media marketers to task several times before, the notion of having a so-called “right” to appear in Facebook news feeds is based upon a false assumption that everyone who subscribes to your updates (or “likes” your page) actually gives a fuck about everything you post. Get it through your goddamn egomaniacal heads already. They don’t.

Despite what these bellyachers claim, the Edgerank algorithm wasn’t designed to bilk a few bucks out of the pockets of brands, businesses and bloviators with large followings. In a similar way that Google displays search results, this mechanism is in place to ensure optimal relevancy and interest of news feed items for an end-user. You know, a normal fucking person. Someone who probably cares more about how their father’s surgery went, what a colleague thought of a new movie, or seeing their friend’s photos from the bridal shower that weekend than reading a half-witted column from a journalist who they’ve never met, spoken or interacted with whatsoever.

Why are they subscribed to your updates then, Nick? They probably liked something you wrote. Many probably read your column on occasion. Maybe some female readers of the Times thought you were cute and just enjoy glaring wistfully at your cover photo. Who knows? All I can most definitely say is that you’re not in any way at the center of their fucking world. Not even close.

While technology douchebags like Bilton (and myself) might operate efficiently in a world of information overload, an average person who doesn’t live and breathe every minutiae, tidbit of news or colloquial musing, frankly needs outside intervention from this deluge – or risks having their proverbial head explode and shutting it all off completely. This, and not a glut of advertising in the stream, is Facebook’s nightmare inflection point.

What makes it even more problematic for the company is that the issue is typically self-inflicted by users themselves (by friending and liking too many things) unbeknownst to the ramifications of that behavior. Is Facebook going to throttle people from doing so and set limitations for their own good? Yeah, let’s see how that flies. Hence their route of providing safeguards so that no matter what, the user experience every time will be as relevant to your interests as possible.

With any algorithm, it’s not perfect. Not by a long shot. Shit, even the eggheads at Google have continually tweaked theirs for over 15 years. Debunking those that believe Edgerank serves primarily as a tool to charge for feed visibility, how can these cyber-celebrities at the same time applaud the online advertising innovation of Google’s Adwords platform which charges for search page visibility in practically the same manner? Aren’t Facebook’s “promoted posts” an extension of that very successful and widely accepted concept? Sounds like hypocrisy to me.

But the issue being addressed in these tantrums have nothing to do with algorithms or business models. It all has to do with a lack of perspective. It all has to do with the unrealistic inflation of self-importance that social technologies appear to provide. And it’s the unwillingness to accept the deflated truth of your actual and limited place in other people’s minds that causes pieces such as Nick Bilton’s to be written. Keep grasping for a scapegoat, dude. It won’t change anything.

Mark Cuban Thinks Your Life Is An Insignificant Waste Of Time

That’s the more appropriate title of his post. Apparently, it’s that of a mindless drone who peruses Facebook to escape from a vapid existence, keeping up appearances by liking and commenting on purposeless baby pictures from your friends while having all the time in the world to skim through hundreds of posts in the process.

FB is what it is. Its a time waster. That’s not to say we don’t engage, we do. We click, share and comment because it’s mindless and easy. But for some reason FB doesn’t seem to want to accept that it’s best purpose in life is as a huge time suck platform that we use to keep up with friends, interests and stuff. I think that they are over thinking what their network is all about.

How detached from the real world is Mark Cuban? I’ll be the first one to pan the shallow nature of attention-starved Facebook user behavior, but I can’t be remiss to admit that most people use the platform as a primary communication channel on par, or more so, than the phone, text messages or e-mail. Hell, my parents find out more about what’s going on with my life by keeping up with my posts on Facebook than by speaking on the phone every few weeks. That’s the point.

Who really appreciates that some posts rise to the top of their newsfeed because some folks they used to work with and are still friends with shared a baby picture? Not only do I not like it, I like even less the obligation I feel to like the picture so I don’t seem like some grump.

In a perfect FB world every post enters the friends/like/subscriber’s timeline. If they log in and want to spend the time searching their timeline they see it, if not, not. FB users go on FB looking to kill time. Why not let them?

Sure, there’s plenty of so-called “time wasting” that’s happening on Facebook, yet it’s not an excuse to assume that users have no issue sifting through the garbage businesses throw out there. Cuban’s attitude in his blog post reeks of modern-day aristocratic narcissism as if his, or his brand’s messages, is of noble class importance. In his mind, we’re all just plebs whose everyday activities and relationships are utterly insignificant in nature, to us or to anyone. No matter how boring or non-impactful, one person’s daily life is not a time suck for them.

We should know better than an algorithm what those who like us actually like. It may well be that it’s a passive relationship. Maybe they just want to see the scores at the end of every quarter in a Mavs game? Maybe they want to know what show is playing right now on AXS TV? No one expects them to like, comment or share any of this. It’s just an information source.

You know better, Mark? Obviously you don’t. Your posts would get much more visibility in news feeds if you did. Maybe they want to see this. Maybe they want to see that. Maybe they just don’t want to fucking see you at all. Have you even considered that fact, douchebag? Just because people like a brand doesn’t mean they want to consume information about them religiously on a daily basis to the detriment of their own social graph.

Oh, and just because you can find out about things on Facebook doesn’t make it an information source. It’s like equating Thanksgiving dinner with the family, not as a social gathering of people, but as a personalized resource for curated and aggregated editorial content. Really gives you that warm holiday feeling, huh?

In the context of his general attitude, the nature of Cuban’s incessant babble over Facebook’s news feed algorithm seems laughable since we’re talking about a fucking basketball team here. Not war reports from the Middle East. Not congressional negotiations over the fiscal cliff. Not anything a reasonable person may possibly consider to be a significant impact on their lives or their future.

Don’t you think the people who’d want to see six real-time score updates a night from the Mavericks would actually be watching the game already on television?

Based on Cuban’s own illogical argument in his post, shouldn’t users have the freedom to leisurely pursue the internet as a “time suck” without a filter determining what they do and don’t see? If they really want to know the score of the Mavericks game, they’ll fucking find it themselves. It’s not like that information is scarce nor do people not know how to get it within a click.

Facebook’s news feed algorithm exists solely because of shit like this. Determining relevance on an individual-to-individual basis using thousands of variables is a tall complicated order. Unlike Google who gets an implicit signal of intent with every search query, Facebook doesn’t. What could be extremely relevant to a user one day could mean virtually nothing to them the next, then relevant again a month later.

Mark Cuban expects it to be up to the person to fiddle these nuances for themselves, but who the fuck wants to do that? Not normal people. So Facebook tries to do that on their behalf. They already give users a multitude of settings to help the process, but barely anyone actually uses them. If the masses of people did, Facebook wouldn’t be going so hardcore with algorithmic methods of filtering.

It’s not a revenue grab. It’s a matter of survival. No matter what the vocal minority shouts about privacy concerns, if the billion ordinary people on the platform were to take sides, they’d be rooting for Facebook. For many, it’s the primary place to keep connected with their family and friends en masse and quite often the best source for time wasting. Keeping it that way is much more complicated than a “show all updates” button. I agree with Ryan Tate of Wired here:

It’s odd that Cuban, of all people, doesn’t appreciate the complexity involved in being a “time waster.” His NBA team the Mavericks spends inordinate time and money trying to be a compelling “time suck” for fans with nothing better to do than watch strangers play basketball for hours on end.

The Mavericks hone elaborate on-court strategies, release and acquire highly skilled players, and strike complex broadcast and merchandizing arrangements. They don’t let just any random dribbler onto their home court to entertain the fans. Facebook works the same way.

No One Gives A Shit About Your Use Case

Doling out the brutal truth that businesses that rely on mass adoption will always cater their product to those masses without any regard to the small group of passionate early adopters.

Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes if you give a damn!

I rant about Twitter’s so-called “pivot” into establishing themselves as a media company, how App.net is not a “change the world” endeavor, the endless unfounded whining from brands and marketers about Facebook’s news feed algorithm and why the use cases of the stupid masses matters more than that of smarter power users.

In addition, I poke fun at the outpouring of sadness over the Hostess bankruptcy as simply “nostalgic outrage” and question the merits, decisions and delusions of the smartest minds of our times slaving away at creating value for free.

play audio No One Gives A Shit About Your Use Case

Links from this episode:

Who’s to Blame for the Hostess Bankruptcy?
Twitter’s pre-expanded Cards come to the search, Discover sections of apps
Twitter is pivoting
Twitter Does A Lot Of Different Things For Different People, Deal With It
Facebook Explains The Four Ways It Sorts The News Feed
Online Advertising Through The Wrong Lens
How Facebook’s New Sound Notifications Could Boost Engagement
How Much Longer Can Tech’s Free Party Last?

Keeping Up With “Like-Gate”

In the past week, I’ve told both Mark Cuban and George Takei to take their Facebook Edgerank whining and go shove it up their asses. I can add Marc Canter now to this list of those who operate in a world where assumptions are facts.

Brands and users have been told by Facebook that as they increase their “likes” – and increase their ‘customer’ base, that they will be able to reach these folks – with news, announcements, posts and offers – for FREE! But as Facebook has come under greater pressure to produce revenues – they’ve changed that policy and now ask to get PAID to allow these posts and offers – through the EdgeRank algorithm and actually reach Facebook users.

Emphasis mine. As I’ve ranted profusely before:

Did I miss some grandiose conference tour or massive outreach campaign by Facebook HQ soliciting small business owners onto their platform as a must-have requirement for 21st century success? I surely never got those e-mails. Neither have my clients, prospective clients and the hundreds of other small business owners I’ve ever come across the past few years.

Complain all you want. Get it out of your system. Yes, it sucks for your business that you’ve spent all this time vacuuming up “likes” to have a large percentage be for nought. But claiming a bait-and-switch routine on Facebook’s part? Nonsense. It was you who operated under this false pretense. It was marketers telling you a “like” rivaled that of an explicit opt-in. Not the company itself.

While their direct revenue may come from your brands and businesses, Facebook will end up having a balance sheet of zero if users flee the platform because of all the noise being generated by you folks. You may think people want to see your endless posts of uninspired, useless bullshit, but they don’t. Facebook knows this. If you look at your page insights, you should know this as well.

Should Facebook continue to let you spew crap on our news feeds all hours of the day with no consequence, to the detriment of everyone, for free? Fuck no. Thank god they curb it. They have every right to do so. It’s their platform and you are only the guest on it. These people who “like” a Facebook page are not your users.

For a minute, I thought I was going crazy for being the only one with this opinion. Thankfully, in the past few days, other people have spoken out in even more graceful terms than my aggressive barking. From Ryan Tate at Wired:

In the case of the Mavericks page, it’s hard to get to excited on behalf of billionaire Cuban. Take a look at the page; recent posts are mostly game updates, promotions for local businesses, and promotions for Mavericks specials and games. Even the game updates and player pictures include advertisements, promoting Mavericks sponsors like Pannini America, Albertson’s and BBVA Compass, often placed before the actual content.

In other words, Cuban wants to blast his ads into all his followers’ News Feeds, for free, even when Facebook’s software decides a follower isn’t particularly interested. To him, Facebook is the bad guy standing between him and the Mavericks’ eager fans, who yearn for posts about “sizzling specials” from On The Border Mexican Grill and other sponsors. “The Mavs are considering moving to Tumblr or to new MySpace as primary site,” he has tweeted.

Calling it as he sees it. It’s not like it’s the Red Cross complaining that their important relief effort messages are going unseen by the masses on Facebook. No offense, but it’s just a fucking basketball team. Do over a million people really want multiple posts a day highlighting every time a player grabs their crotch in between sponsorship & partner advertisements? If he thinks so, Mark Cuban is really out of touch with what the public actually wants as Mathew Ingram of GigaOM echoes:

It’s one thing to excuse Takei for not realizing the implications of this, but Cuban is a notoriously sharp businessman who routinely criticizes entrepreneurs on his TV show for failing to understand how markets work. Facebook is a business, not a charity or a platform for social well-being, and it provides that platform free of charge, on the understanding that users agree to be marketed to in a variety of ways.

The idea that it should somehow allow Cuban to spam all his followers with marketing content for nothing is nonsensical.

Emphasis mine. Just as Google rewards relevant quality websites with top rankings in search results, Facebook is essentially doing the same with social news feeds. On that track, just as Google will allow businesses to purchase placement in a sponsored section for any keywords irregardless (somewhat) of quality and relevance, Facebook is essentially doing the same with Promoted Posts and Sponsored Stories. Be relevant or pay the price for not being so. As Dalton Caldwell elegantly puts it:

Facebook newsfeed is an embodiment of our war on noise. We depend on the newsfeed optimizer to protect our limited attention span, and as a consequence, Facebook gets to choose what stories we do and don’t see, just as Google chooses which search results we do and don’t see.

Conceptually, this seems very lucrative: Facebook is auctioning off our limited attention span to the highest bidder, as long as the bidder has a candidate newsstory to promote. Welcome to the attention economy.

Indeed it is the attention economy. Stop your bitching and get used to it, folks.

Older Posts